***Even when l’ve had the experience of hiring someone or joining something that felt either… meh that wasn’t what l thought it would be… or… oh shit this is an expensive lesson, I can’t believe I missed this!.. about.

I take full responsibility for every choice I make. I don’t shame spiral and beat myself up for the choice I made with what I knew at that time. I also don’t go into a victim blame game about all the things *they* did wrong to… make me??… make the choice in hiring them.

If your biggest takeaway from a meh or oh shit experience of hiring someone/joining something is all about… the person/product you purchased… well… that right there shows me how far you’re going to go in business. And life.

I observe. Learn. Process whatever feelings I have about the experience on my own or with a trusted other… who knows how to hold space for processing without hooking into the dysregulated victimized stories with me. (Maybe stop asking your bestie who has the same issues to help you sort your issues?)

Then I move the fuck on. As a bigger, brighter, wiser version of me.

And – I use what I learned to make magic, babyyyyyy.

Because I Am the magic, babyyyy.

If AFTER processing my feelings and landing in a neutral space I feel that there was something majorly misleading or missing from the marketing of what I offered, I will communicate that directly to the person. In a clean, grounded, honest, productive way. With specific, constructive feedback.

I will always advocate for myself when that feels true. But lam diligent to do so through my response-ability, not reactivity. From my grounded center of power, not from my dysregulated victim archetype.

And only when it truly feels worthy. TBH most of the time it feels like a waste of time and energy and l’d rather just take what I learned and move on with my life.

One of the things that has surprised me the most since entering the online coaching space is the lack of self responsibility and healthy personal processing & communication skills amongst people who center their entire life and career around personal development. 🤔 I’ve seen weird shit like this (blaming the terrible horrible coaches and mentors and their evil manipulative marketing) in other industries but honestly less. Like, it would be a rare thing for a lawyer to blame the school they chose or the teacher of their class for their poor grade or for their poor success overall. Even if they thought either was trash lol. They were the ones there. And. There were other students doing well in the trash place sooooo… is the school/teacher to blame or is it the way they utilize and leverage the school/teacher? And call me naive but I expected so much more entering this space. Since… it’s supposed to be a space with such “developed” people. But I saw very quickly that isn’t actually the truth and there is lots of open wounds leading the way in this space. <<< a whole riff to share on that last piece and what I’ve observed about why this space actually is what it is 🙈 Let me know if you want it and maybe I’ll post hehe 🥵🥵🥵

Instagram post here