Triggers = the intense emotional reaction in your body that’s a disproportionate size to what happened in the moment, pointing you to a wound.
1 – Know when you are actually triggered.
People throw this word around for everything these days. Not every intense feeling you have is a trigger. It’s not a trigger when you see a photo of a dead baby on the internet and feel an intense pang of emotion. Having an intense emotional reaction to that is… appropriate. But having an intense emotional reaction to reading a post written by someone who has a different opinion than you about business? Ding! Found one! Lol.
2 – Don’t believe the first thing you feel/think.
This isn’t about gaslighting yourself. This is about sloooowwwing down. Let yourself actually feel through the different textures of discomfort without jumping to meaning making. Take a few breaths. Observe what you are thinking/feeling and how familiar that feels. Get curious about the wound that is being touched instead of instantly reacting from the ouchie. Expand your capacity to feel and think about what just triggered you. This is… becoming conscious of your unconscious.
3 – With the conscious space you’ve just created… once you land in a neutral, proportionate sized feeling in your body, with more information than the instant reaction you had… make a choice about what you think and how you want to *respond* to the moment in alignment with who you want to be/the result you want to get.
4 – Rinse & Repeat until you are no longer triggered by the same things or living your life as both a reaction to and avoidance of your wounds.
Most self aware (you’ve been doing personal development/healing work of some sort, you’re not living completely unconsciously) people go sideways at the Choice Point. #3
They think they need to go on a hunt for the wound, the limiting belief, the thing that happened when they were 7 that created the emotional reaction, to find exactly what needs to be healed… and then what practice/process they need to do to “heal” it.
Because that’s what got you from unconscious to conscious.
But now personal development practices and processes have become… personal management.
Consciousness = awareness. The more conscious you are, the more you’re going to see in any given moment. The more aware you’ll be of your pain and patterns in real time. That’s uncomfortable. And that’s actually… exactly right.
There’s a time and place to turn to tools and practices to support you. That time and place is when you are unable to slow down and feel through the sensation in your body without instantly reacting until you can think clearly and respond.
And there’s a time and place to start taking your power back from the tools and practices (and healers… a whole other convo) and begin holding yourself to a new standard. Through the discomfort. With the discomfort.
To become a person who is consistent, congruent, authentic, and loving… even when triggered. To become a person who can feel more and still think clearly, to become a person who can show up for the responsibilities of life and business… even when triggered. To become a person who doesn’t need a healer to see you and point you to your wounds or a practice or tool to move through the emotionality of the wound.
This is where rapid, revolutionary growth happens.
When you don’t need to feel aligned all the time because you know you just are. No matter what happens, no matter what you feel.
Instagram post here