The 20 years (wtf) of obsessive learning, growing, evolving… back when studying psych & spirituality & human optimization was “weird”.

Going against the grain of what drs told me was possible for me. Physically & Mentally. Refusing to believe the myriad of diagnoses. Refusing prescriptions from age 13. Healing my Self against the odds I was given.

Because I knew they were not my odds.

Choosing my Self in moments nobody else was choosing me… when I was shown more abuse than love… when the abuse was denied, fingers pointed back at me.

Holding my truth still. Holding my Self still.

Traversing the underworlds to battle my demons. Again and again.

Always to rise.

More nights brought to my knees in agony than I can count.

Always to rise.

Blaming, shaming, hating myself… turning the pain of life back on myself… years of self harm, several near death attempts.

Somehow always finding bigger love for my Self than I previously knew I could.

More ego deaths and rebirths than I can count.

Multiple moves across the country. By myself. Traveling the world. By myself.

Standing up for my Self. To loved ones. In court rooms. To strangers. And now, in every choice I make.

In every life choice, I’m choosing me.

Saying “yes” so many times when I didn’t know how I was going to pull it off… creating improbable solutions to problems because I just knew I needed to answer the call.

Putting myself in debt to play at the level of my dreams. Dancing with the highs and lows of betting on me… all out. Knowing my why and choosing to back my Self fully, even with the fear.

Over $500,000 invested into my Self and still growing.

Estrangement from family. Losing friends with each rebirth. Releasing attachments, contracts, and stories left and right.

Feeling misunderstood, alone, crazy, questioning everything… at the same time so sure of my Self and my path.

My highs are so high *because* my lows have been so low.

The light I shine is in direct proportion to the darkness I’ve seen.

I do this work because I know no other way anymore.

The work I share here is the life I live.

This is it. This is me.

No smoke, only mirrors. 🪞😉

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