THREE babies under a year and a half, while running 2 businesses, whaaaat were we thinking?! 🤣

A tiny human always needs something.

Business keeps me busy in every moment in between.

A symphony of screams (happy, mad, sad, excited, hungry, tired, you name it) echo through the home I’ve designed so lovingly & intentionally… my favorite work of heArt… that has now been largely overrun by baby things.

Patrick and I haven’t slept in the same bed since April, before I was admitted to the hospital.

I sleep upstairs with the girlies (who don’t really sleep yet 🥵). Patrick has made a bed of our big comfy couch designed by a dear brother @alejandroartigasdesigner so he can wake up with Wes.

Divide and conquer.

We both feel pretty desperate for sleep these days.

And are craving more… space. Quiet. Stillness. Connection.

But are somehow still giddily in love with the chaos.

It could be easy to drown in the fullness of this season of life.

But it’s just as easy to look around and see Overflow. Abundance. More than I think I can hold sometimes.

I dreamt of having a big loving wild family my entire life. I longed for this. This isn’t random.

It’s my greatest dream… come true.

But the reality of the dream is… more complicated & chaotic & exhausting… than the Disney version I dreamt of.

Isn’t that always the thing?

The more success I’ve experienced in my life—emotionally, financially, relationally, holistically—the more I’ve had the opportunity to contend with the part of me that would rather stay small to feel the illusion of safe and in control. The part of me that could easily sabotage my dream.

How many humans dream of more but never let themselves have it because it’s uncomfortable to create & to hold? Or make a mess of it when it arrives because they aren’t emotionally mature enough to stay grounded and empowered amidst the chaos of creation?

How many humans then decide that they can’t because XYZ life circumstance or “personality trait”… never really learning the depths or expanse of their creative power?

How heartbreaking. And boring. 🤣 🦖

Thank you, more plz.

Instagram post here