Which is funny because… they’re 2 of the things I’m complimented on the most these days—usually with an undertone of “but that’s easy for you…” 😝

Insecurity & playing small used to be my baseline.

I hid my story. I hid my sight. I hid my Self.

I was passionate and courageous and bold (hello Aries)…

But I made half moves towards what I really desired and believed.

I settled for half love. Half joy. Half success.

I doubted my capability and capacity and quivered when dreaming.

Part of me has been growth oriented my entire life… stalking self help & psych books since 12, my first spiritual awakening at 13…

Part of me felt a victim to my circumstances, to my upbringing, to my trauma. Doubting every growth I had. Always playing it down.

^^^this narrative makes sense. I grew up with pretty mind-fucky abuse and gaslighting. In my family system and in the mental “health” treatment that labeled me and told me I’d need to be medicated… forever.

My soul deeply knew that wasn’t true and awakened to the matrix. 13 year old me threw away the medication and gave the adults in my life the middle finger 🤣 setting out to seek a life of Truth.

But my human was terrified. Insecure. With lots of doubt. And lots of stumbles.

So even as I set out to pave my own path… it always just felt… half true.

Until 2017, when I was 29 years old and living a life that felt very much not like my own, & I decided it was finally time to take a massive, wild leap of faith in me…

Moving across the country with no concrete plan, just a dream of how my life would feel…

Just 6 months after graduating law school…

While everyone around me warned me of all the dangers of the choices I was making…

They thought I was delusional.

I was.

It made no sense.

But I knew that if I could just craft the conviction and confidence to really bet on my sight…

Life could become my work of heArt.

I lived into my DELULU until it became logical.

Until my dreams became my life.

And the people who warned me in the past began looking to me as inspiration / for guidance.

💎

Instagram post here